The last blog was all over the place because I had so much to say in one blog, but I thought this might help bring it together.
"And Jesus said to them, Come after Me and be My disciples, and I will make you to become fishers of men. At once they left their nets and followed Him." Mark 1:17-18
As I was spending time with the Lord today, the notion of leaving my nets kept rolling around in my mind. I have read this Bible story many times, and always thought how much courage it must have taken to leave everything and follow Jesus, but I have never experienced anything like it myself. Although my situation pales in comparison, I still believe that my plans were my nets. I was doing everything for the Lord, and they were all good things I was doing and good plans I was making, but the Lord asked me to leave them. I believe that the church youth group and the education program were what God had for me, but that season of my life is over. "There is a time for everything,and a season for every activity under the heavens." The decision to leave was incredibly hard, and I feel it was God asking me to give up my means for living and lay down the plans I had made for the future. Although I don't fish or even have a job now, the education program was to lead to my future career and held all my self-made achievements and accomplishments. I had gotten so caught up in preparing for the future I created that I had taken control of my life from God into my own hands. He asked me to drop what I was holding and let go of control of my life. Although we all say we want God to have control, we continually try to take over certain areas and handle them ourselves. Once we recognize we have done this, it is still painful and scary to let go of all that you have done and follow Him. It is usually inconvenient and makes you uncomfortable. God had to clear out my whole life almost to get me to the point of surrender, and I did not even realize I had taken control! I was doing it all in His name and for Him, but somewhere in there, I put myself on the throne in my life. I had stopped trusting and started doing what I thought was right. The Bible says,"The heart is deceitful above all things, and it is exceedingly perverse and corrupt and mortally sick! Who can understand it (Jeremiah 17)?" Without the Lord in charge, we revert back to our old ways. "He who leans on, trusts in, and is confident of his own mind and heart is a self-confident fool, but he who walks in skillful and godly Wisdom shall be delivered (Proverbs 28)." When we think we know best or follow our feelings, we are easily led astray! Like Proverbs 3 says,"Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight." Only God can make our paths straight. He knows best. Like Ephesians 2:10 says, "We are God's workmanship, recreated in Christ Jesus, that we may do those good works which God predestined for us, that we should walk in them." God created us, knows us best, remodeled us through Jesus, and created good things for us to do. All we have to do is just walk in what He has created for us.
So, that's what I am trying to do. I have dropped my nets and am waiting on the Lord. "I will wait for You, my strength, for God is my stronghold (Psalm 59)."
While it was so hard to give up, the Lord was faithful, like always, and has given my peace and joy! "Where the spirit of the Lord is there is liberty (2 Cor. 3)!" I feel so free. Once you surrender, you give up the burden you weren't meant to bear. Satan loves to tell us the lie that we will feel better if we just handle it ourselves, but all it does it stress us out and set us up for failure because we can't do it on our own. With God in charge, I have no pressure, no guilt, no fear, and no burdens! I trust Him, and all I have to do is follow Him and walk in what He created me to do. The rest is up to Him. I feel like I have been throwing off all hindrances and am free!
"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith (Heb. 12)."
11.11.2010
11.10.2010
Interruption or Divine Intervention?
So, I just began the study Jonah by Priscilla Shirer last week. The first day was about life plans that have been interrupted and viewing them in light of God's sovereignty. It says, "Interruptions only become positive when we consider the person or circumstance interrupting to be more significant than that which currently occupies our attention." I thought that was a good reminder of how perspective makes all the difference. If we get a glimpse of who God is, we can only be humbled and reliant on His ability. If we have the right perspective of God, interruptions are positive when coming from the Sovereign Lord himself because He is directing your life. I agree that I could use some humbling (always) and need to accept God's will for my life no matter what. Well, although I got some good points from the study, I was having a hard time connecting to the topic and hoped that I could find some relevance for it in my life. I felt on track with my life, had no major interruptions to think of, and was feeling pretty set. Little did I know God had plans for me I never expected! By the second day of the study, God had re-routed my life and began the single largest intervention in my life to date.
Last month Aaron and I felt called away from our church job. We both felt we could no longer give the kids the time and energy they needed. With Aaron’s new job and my internship, we were exhausted and had no more to give. The youth need so much love and attention, and we were unable to give it to them. We felt our time there had come to and end and we needed to step away and allow someone else to take them further than we could. We felt sure of God’s hand in this decision and were excited to have less responsibility and channel our energy into our careers.
Although that decision was hard, I was excited about the possibilities it opened up and looked forward to being able to focus on my schoolwork. Well, you can imagine how shocked I was when I was challenged by my UT professors to really think about what I want in my life. I had not been meeting their expectations for the internship, and they had met with me to let me know and push me to do better. I was truly shocked to hear this from them because I thought I had been doing fine. I knew I could do a little better, but for the most part, I had been trying and thought I was fine. Well, over the next few weeks, I worked harder and tried harder, but to no avail. They continued to not be pleased with my work and pushed me to do better. I felt I had done most of what I could do and did not know what to do to be better. I became more and more stressed and uncomfortable in the classroom because of the pressure. Because of this, I began to really think about what I wanted and about my experience in the internship. Of course I was upset to be getting so much criticism, but I wanted to set aside my personal feelings and critically assess the situation.
After a few days of being torn, I felt God pulling me away from this as well, and again, I was shocked!
The situation had really become toxic for me, and I felt my time there was over. I love children and hope to find a way to work with them without as much stress. I do not think the pressure and stress of being in charge of a classroom is for me. As you may know, I feel more comfortable with small groups and hope to be able to work with a smaller amount of people to be able to really get to know them. I am a connector, and I want to get to know individuals. I need less stress and pressure in my life, and I want to really enjoy what I am doing. I feel like I am always planning for the future and am excited to have the pressure gone and just focus on the day to day.
“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?
And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” Matthew 6
All that said, God has cleared out my life and although I do not know what He has for me from here, I trust Him. It feels good to give Him control of my life and not carry the burden any more. He is much more apt to handle it anyways!
“For we are God's workmanship, recreated in Christ Jesus, that we may do those good works which God predestined for us, that we should walk in them.” Ephesians 2:10
Last month Aaron and I felt called away from our church job. We both felt we could no longer give the kids the time and energy they needed. With Aaron’s new job and my internship, we were exhausted and had no more to give. The youth need so much love and attention, and we were unable to give it to them. We felt our time there had come to and end and we needed to step away and allow someone else to take them further than we could. We felt sure of God’s hand in this decision and were excited to have less responsibility and channel our energy into our careers.
Although that decision was hard, I was excited about the possibilities it opened up and looked forward to being able to focus on my schoolwork. Well, you can imagine how shocked I was when I was challenged by my UT professors to really think about what I want in my life. I had not been meeting their expectations for the internship, and they had met with me to let me know and push me to do better. I was truly shocked to hear this from them because I thought I had been doing fine. I knew I could do a little better, but for the most part, I had been trying and thought I was fine. Well, over the next few weeks, I worked harder and tried harder, but to no avail. They continued to not be pleased with my work and pushed me to do better. I felt I had done most of what I could do and did not know what to do to be better. I became more and more stressed and uncomfortable in the classroom because of the pressure. Because of this, I began to really think about what I wanted and about my experience in the internship. Of course I was upset to be getting so much criticism, but I wanted to set aside my personal feelings and critically assess the situation.
After a few days of being torn, I felt God pulling me away from this as well, and again, I was shocked!
The situation had really become toxic for me, and I felt my time there was over. I love children and hope to find a way to work with them without as much stress. I do not think the pressure and stress of being in charge of a classroom is for me. As you may know, I feel more comfortable with small groups and hope to be able to work with a smaller amount of people to be able to really get to know them. I am a connector, and I want to get to know individuals. I need less stress and pressure in my life, and I want to really enjoy what I am doing. I feel like I am always planning for the future and am excited to have the pressure gone and just focus on the day to day.
“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?
And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” Matthew 6
All that said, God has cleared out my life and although I do not know what He has for me from here, I trust Him. It feels good to give Him control of my life and not carry the burden any more. He is much more apt to handle it anyways!
“For we are God's workmanship, recreated in Christ Jesus, that we may do those good works which God predestined for us, that we should walk in them.” Ephesians 2:10
6.19.2010
Frail Vessels, but Precious Treasure!
So, I'll go first. I was so moved by my Amplified version that said "we possess this precious treasure in frail vessels of earth, that the exceeding greatness of power may be shown to be from God and not from ourselves." Most versions say "jars of clay," which is true, but through the wording "earth," I was reminded that yes, we were made from earth "from the dust of the ground He made them." You cannot get much more frail than that! Since we carry Jesus, through the Holy Spirit, in our frail bodies, it would be obvious to conclude that any greatness we show would not be of ourselves, but only through His power. It also says we are "always carrying around in the body the exposure to the same putting to death that Jesus suffered, so that the life of Jesus may be shown in our bodies." So, when it says persecuted, it means the same persecution that Jesus suffered! The Bible does not take lightly our suffering, but rather compares it to Jesus'. God understands our suffering because He created us, and He went through it himself. He knows it is tough, and that is why it is through His power that we live. Thank God, literally!
It goes on to say, "For our light and momentary affliction is preparing for us an everlasting glory." So, not only does God say He empathizes with our struggles and gives us the power to get through them, He also gives us hope for the future! I do not know what an everlasting glory will be, but I'm in! If God promises that He is preparing me for it, I trust Him. In chapter 3 it says we "are constantly being transfigured into His very image in ever-increasing splendor from one degree of glory to another." Through God working in us, we are being changed with ever-increasing glory. I will admit, most of the time it doesn't feel like that. I struggle just as much, if not more, than anybody. Most of the time I fall for the devil's lies that I am not good enough, not pretty enough, not successful enough, just not enough in general. It is so encouraging to be reminded that God is working through this weak vessel, despite my flaws, and He is preparing me for an everlasting glory. I need to be constantly "transformed by the renewing of my mind," and focusing on God's truths and not my feelings. I need to have faith the God IS working in my life and strive to replace the devil's lies with the truth of God's Word. God never breaks His promises, and maybe if I could focus on that, I can began living confidently knowing He is transforming me "in ever-increasing splendor from one degree of glory to another."
It goes on to say, "For our light and momentary affliction is preparing for us an everlasting glory." So, not only does God say He empathizes with our struggles and gives us the power to get through them, He also gives us hope for the future! I do not know what an everlasting glory will be, but I'm in! If God promises that He is preparing me for it, I trust Him. In chapter 3 it says we "are constantly being transfigured into His very image in ever-increasing splendor from one degree of glory to another." Through God working in us, we are being changed with ever-increasing glory. I will admit, most of the time it doesn't feel like that. I struggle just as much, if not more, than anybody. Most of the time I fall for the devil's lies that I am not good enough, not pretty enough, not successful enough, just not enough in general. It is so encouraging to be reminded that God is working through this weak vessel, despite my flaws, and He is preparing me for an everlasting glory. I need to be constantly "transformed by the renewing of my mind," and focusing on God's truths and not my feelings. I need to have faith the God IS working in my life and strive to replace the devil's lies with the truth of God's Word. God never breaks His promises, and maybe if I could focus on that, I can began living confidently knowing He is transforming me "in ever-increasing splendor from one degree of glory to another."
Inspiration
Let me begin by saying I was inspired to start a blog while studying the scriptures one Saturday morning. I was reading the theme passage 2 Corinthians 4, and thought it would apply to some of my church girls too. I quickly texted them to read the chapter, but then began to wonder how God would work through those same verses in each of their lives. The idea struck me to create a blog where we could discuss scripture and share experiences of God working in our lives. So, here it is. I hope this blog will inspire, encourage, and challenge through the Word to the glory of God.
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